CHANGE**

** CHANGE (v.) make different; cause a transformation

CHANGE is always a good thing--
that's what many would often say.
But for some of us, change is a scary word.
It is overwhelming, like a drowning force that can sink us.
Especially when we are not yet ready for it,
or when we are caught off guard by it.

At times we push ourselves to change not because we want to,
but just simply because we have to.
That's a hard phase to undergo.
Harder even is when the change is  forced into us.
When we are left with nothing to do but to deal with it.
What we fail to realize at times is that we change everyday.
We constantly find new ways to fix ourselves,
to tramp the old versions of us.
We change to survive and to get through the day.
We change and we render a new and better us,
and we hope that this new one would be suffice somehow.

For people's noblest endowment is our capacity to change.
Armed with reason-- we can see two sides and get to choose.
We can be divinely wrong,
but being wrong is also one of our most telling gifts.
We have the right to be wrong,
but we don't have the right to linger still.
Life is so short and fast that we cannot afford it.
We cannot just wait, we cannot just hold off.
Not particularly because we want to postpone what we sure is inevitable.

By reason, we must choose, we must decide, we must change.
Change is hard.
Change may take a lot of time.
Sometimes, it may even consume all of our hearts--
but we must not lurk when we know otherwise.
Change maybe everything that scares us,
but we must decide to start somehow.
For there must always be a start for something new.
So believe in your ability to change.
Believe that you are capable of attaining something better.
Believe without fear that you can.

^^

GRATITUDE

** GRATITUDE (n.) a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation

Always be thankful of those people who have the ability to

bring out a better version of you.

For those people who have consistently put effort just to make you happier.

Those who have their means of touching your life in ways you don't expect.

People who surprise you by making you feel emotions
that you never thought you have in you.

Those who almost drive you into tears for making you so incredibly happy.

People who know you amazingly well enough,
that they could conjure up your very own thoughts and emotions
into words that can magically shed some light into your uncertainties.

People who know what to say and when to actually say them to you,

having the perfect timing to enlighten you a notch more.

Giving you time to learn by yourself,
but always being there for you throughout your learning process.

Those who have that certain light in their lives that exudes to shine over you.
People who are generous enough to share the warmth of their hearts,
who rekindle your faith in the basic goodness of people.
Those who make you want to be better than who you are now.
People who make you so happy you've got no other way to cope to it
but to share it away. making you want to pay it forward.
For these people in my life--
you all perfectly know who you are,
THANK YOU.^^
I am nothing but grateful and fortunate to have crossed path with you all.
GOD must have been really looking after me and sent you.
You are the best gifts for my birthday.

*especially for that someone who has always been a ray of light in my life--
I am nothing but blessed to have you around. Thank you.^^

**written 17 April 2013, on my birthday

ANOTHER SUNDAY MORNING** CHAPTER II

ANOTHER SUNDAY MORNING
CHAPTER II

The alarm went off early that Friday morning. Carl got up to prepare breakfast for them. She's there, still sleeping soundly on her side of the bed. She must have been so tired all week long with work and all, so Carl decided to to give her some more time to slumber before waking her up. She's still got a couple of hours more before her shift in the office anyway, and he would want her to have her chance to rest a bit more.

As always, Carl tended on his usual everyday routine. He has to make sure everything's ready in the morning before she wakes up and before he sends her to work. A lot would say differently about this set up-- but Carl had grown up accustomed to such harsh commentaries. He couldn't care more about what other people are saying about them, nor about him. All his life, he has been a target of people's coarse judgement, and he can't remember when he mastered how to shut them all out of his system. Somehow, as he was growing up, he perfected the art of not caring at all.

Growing up in a not so typical family, Carl got used to hearing teasing remarks about his life. He never met his father or knew much about his old man other than his name. He remembered wanting to find him when he was younger-- but then just like the many things that he wanted before in his life, somewhere along the way, he also have let go of that as well.

It is a tiresome battle-- to always hope for something, to wish to be better and to be disappointed again and again in the end. That's how Carl feels most about his life. Just like how he hoped to have a family to really belong to, a family that will truly be his, and yet no matter how hard he tried, he always felt like an outsider in his own home. With his mom's new family, Carl wasn't able to learn how to fit it. He loves his mom-- more than anything in this world. She actually is the only family that he has got, and he is sure that she loves him back as much-- he has never doubted that. But he also understands that she has to pick up on her own life after his great father abandoned them. And for that, he can never blame her. But since her mom started to write on the new chapters of her life with her new husband and new sons, Carl seemed to have started to lose his place in those pages. 

That was the start of his solitude. He closed himself up to anyone else after that. He became passive-- so as not to hurt anymore. If you care less about things in your life, about the people you are with, then the chance of being hurt will be less as well. He is happy with this scheme. He lives his life as he was suppose to, not attaching himself that much to anyone he encounters. He just did what there is to be done-- passing through his day by day life casually going by with the flow. He has learned to just leave everything to fate and destiny, whatever life brings, then that's what he'll deal with. He forgot how to have vision, how to have wishes, how to have dreams for himself. He forgot how to really want and really love.

He can't even remember the last time he really wanted something, or dreamed and wished for anything. He doesn't even worry about losing anything at all, that's the beauty of it. Without wanting anything, there will be no fear of losing anything, too. That's a nifty credo to live by. No one gets to be left behind, no one gets to be loved less, no one gets to be hurt-- he doesn't get himself  to be hurt. 

And so when Kim got into his life three years ago, he just let it be. This girl loves him. They can be together and he'll have his someone. And when Kim asked him to move with her a few months later, he did. Maybe now, he will have his own home, his own family, something he can call his.

Breakfast is ready and everything's been taken care of, so he went to wake Kim up. This is the least thing he could do for her. He takes care of her this way. And just like their typical day, they ate breakfast together, she reminded him of some things to be done through out the day and off she went to prepare for work again, and he'd wait 'til night time to come when she gets home.

Link/s:

CHAPTER I
http://missglitchee.blogspot.com/2013/03/another-sunday-morning.html



**a short story version of my novelette project for this year^^
please read on for new chapters to come...