Who is Miss Glitchee?

I am who I am, I am in the act of creating myself, and I can only do that in the space of who I am not--
and so I have carefully created who I am not in order to experience who I actually am.^^

Monday, April 29, 2013


** CHANGE (v.) make different; cause a transformation

CHANGE is always a good thing--
that's what many would often say.
But for some of us, change is a scary word.
It is overwhelming, like a drowning force that can sink us.
Especially when we are not yet ready for it,
or when we are caught off guard by it.

At times we push ourselves to change not because we want to,
but just simply because we have to.
That's a hard phase to undergo.
Harder even is when the change is  forced into us.
When we are left with nothing to do but to deal with it.
What we fail to realize at times is that we change everyday.
We constantly find new ways to fix ourselves,
to tramp the old versions of us.
We change to survive and to get through the day.
We change and we render a new and better us,
and we hope that this new one would be suffice somehow.

For people's noblest endowment is our capacity to change.
Armed with reason-- we can see two sides and get to choose.
We can be divinely wrong,
but being wrong is also one of our most telling gifts.
We have the right to be wrong,
but we don't have the right to linger still.
Life is so short and fast that we cannot afford it.
We cannot just wait, we cannot just hold off.
Not particularly because we want to postpone what we sure is inevitable.

By reason, we must choose, we must decide, we must change.
Change is hard.
Change may take a lot of time.
Sometimes, it may even consume all of our hearts--
but we must not lurk when we know otherwise.
Change maybe everything that scares us,
but we must decide to start somehow.
For there must always be a start for something new.
So believe in your ability to change.
Believe that you are capable of attaining something better.
Believe without fear that you can.


Friday, April 26, 2013


** GRATITUDE (n.) a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation

Always be thankful of those people who have the ability to
bring out a better version of you.
For those people who have consistently put effort just to make you happier.
Those who have their means of touching your life in ways you don't expect.
People who surprise you by making you feel emotions
that you never thought you have in you.
Those who almost drive you into tears for making you so incredibly happy.
People who know you amazingly well enough,
that they could conjure up your very own thoughts and emotions
into words that can magically shed some light into your uncertainties.
People who know what to say and when to actually say them to you,
having the perfect timing to enlighten you a notch more.
Giving you time to learn by yourself,
but always being there for you throughout your learning process.

Those who have that certain light in their lives that exudes to shine over you.
People who are generous enough to share the warmth of their hearts,
who rekindle your faith in the basic goodness of people.
Those who make you want to be better than who you are now.
People who make you so happy you've got no other way to cope to it
but to share it away. making you want to pay it forward.
For these people in my life--
you all perfectly know who you are,
I am nothing but grateful and fortunate to have crossed path with you all.
GOD must have been really looking after me and sent you.
You are the best gifts for my birthday.

*especially for that someone who has always been a ray of light in my life--
I am nothing but blessed to have you around. Thank you.^^

**written 17 April 2013, on my birthday

Wednesday, April 24, 2013



The alarm went off early that Friday morning. Carl got up to prepare breakfast for them. She's there, still sleeping soundly on her side of the bed. She must have been so tired all week long with work and all, so Carl decided to to give her some more time to slumber before waking her up. She's still got a couple of hours more before her shift in the office anyway, and he would want her to have her chance to rest a bit more.

As always, Carl tended on his usual everyday routine. He has to make sure everything's ready in the morning before she wakes up and before he sends her to work. A lot would say differently about this set up-- but Carl had grown up accustomed to such harsh commentaries. He couldn't care more about what other people are saying about them, nor about him. All his life, he has been a target of people's coarse judgement, and he can't remember when he mastered how to shut them all out of his system. Somehow, as he was growing up, he perfected the art of not caring at all.

Growing up in a not so typical family, Carl got used to hearing teasing remarks about his life. He never met his father or knew much about his old man other than his name. He remembered wanting to find him when he was younger-- but then just like the many things that he wanted before in his life, somewhere along the way, he also have let go of that as well.

It is a tiresome battle-- to always hope for something, to wish to be better and to be disappointed again and again in the end. That's how Carl feels most about his life. Just like how he hoped to have a family to really belong to, a family that will truly be his, and yet no matter how hard he tried, he always felt like an outsider in his own home. With his mom's new family, Carl wasn't able to learn how to fit it. He loves his mom-- more than anything in this world. She actually is the only family that he has got, and he is sure that she loves him back as much-- he has never doubted that. But he also understands that she has to pick up on her own life after his great father abandoned them. And for that, he can never blame her. But since her mom started to write on the new chapters of her life with her new husband and new sons, Carl seemed to have started to lose his place in those pages. 

That was the start of his solitude. He closed himself up to anyone else after that. He became passive-- so as not to hurt anymore. If you care less about things in your life, about the people you are with, then the chance of being hurt will be less as well. He is happy with this scheme. He lives his life as he was suppose to, not attaching himself that much to anyone he encounters. He just did what there is to be done-- passing through his day by day life casually going by with the flow. He has learned to just leave everything to fate and destiny, whatever life brings, then that's what he'll deal with. He forgot how to have vision, how to have wishes, how to have dreams for himself. He forgot how to really want and really love.

He can't even remember the last time he really wanted something, or dreamed and wished for anything. He doesn't even worry about losing anything at all, that's the beauty of it. Without wanting anything, there will be no fear of losing anything, too. That's a nifty credo to live by. No one gets to be left behind, no one gets to be loved less, no one gets to be hurt-- he doesn't get himself  to be hurt. 

And so when Kim got into his life three years ago, he just let it be. This girl loves him. They can be together and he'll have his someone. And when Kim asked him to move with her a few months later, he did. Maybe now, he will have his own home, his own family, something he can call his.

Breakfast is ready and everything's been taken care of, so he went to wake Kim up. This is the least thing he could do for her. He takes care of her this way. And just like their typical day, they ate breakfast together, she reminded him of some things to be done through out the day and off she went to prepare for work again, and he'd wait 'til night time to come when she gets home.



**a short story version of my novelette project for this year^^
please read on for new chapters to come...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


I am a self-confessed papa's little girl--
and that is something I am very proud to be.
That's one of my most favorite versions of me.
When I was younger, my mama would always jealously joke proclaiming that I love my papa more, which of course is not true.
First, because I love my mama with all my heart.
And second, because  my mama would surely see this as well. :)

My papa and I almost share the same birthday,
I was born only a few hours before his special day.
I am his first child,
and so I always believe that I am special to him.
I am his favorite, everyone says so as well,
but my papa is just so modest to admit it--
well at least that's what I think.^^
(excuse me little sister and brothers)
Chaffing and bias aside, 
my papa has always been a fair and loving father to all of us,
always in the middle, not meddling, not overmastering.

I always believe in my papa.
When my papa says there are no ghosts--
which is the thing I am most scared of childishly,
I instantly become braver, for my papa says so.
When he says I can be the top of my class or
I could win the first prize because I am better than all the other kids,
I at once turn into an Einstein, just because my papa believes so.
When he says I can do something,
surprisingly like a magician and his abracadabra,
I could definitely do so.

My papa is a man of few words,
so when he speaks we all listen.
He is always a step forward,
he always considers and decides with reasons.
My papa is a man of values, of honor and of dignity.
Yeah, that may sound hard core-- but it is indeed very true.
He prizes his standards highly and
stands for them as much as he can.
He is a man that honors his words.
He keeps his promises, no matter what it takes.
He seldom falters.
And as he always says--
we should be extra careful choosing and adopting
the principles we want to live by, and once we did,
we must never waver and have the heart to uphold them.
He is my role model, my prototype of an ideal guy.

My papa is my superhero.
He scares me at times--
like I am terrified to fall short of what he expects of me. 
And yet I feel safe all the time knowing
that if in any way I fail, he will,
as he always had, have my back.
He makes me want to be better to deserve his pride.
For there is no feeling more lifting in this world than of my papa being so proud of me, boasting about the little things I have done.
The least I can do is try my hardest not to disappoint him,
(which I think I more often do than I want to)
for my papa, as in any superhero, has never let me down.

It is indubitable how much I admire and respect my father,
but how can I not?
He managed a family that I adore with all of my heart,
he loved and protected my most favorite people in this world.
and somehow that will always be an understatement.
And so on his very special day,
I wish nothing but more happiness for him,
more love, better health and the same old him--
the best man in the world.^^
I love you and I am proud and blessed to be your little girl.^^

**for the greatest father in the world on his birthday^^


Aside from being the best father in the world, my papa is an equally good and loving husband to my mama, which of course I think are co-requisites--a good man, a loving husband, a wonderful dad.
I had this conversation with him a few weeks back about infidelity and this is what he said:

Me: Pa, have you ever cheated on mama?
Papa: No, never.

Me: Have you thought of it?
Papa: (shook his head, paused and thought reconsidering)
Temptations come, but I dare not to entertain it.

Me: Well, how could you not?
Papa: Three things.
First, I love your mama and all of you my children and you wouldn't want to hurt the ones you love don't you?
Second, I am scared of no man, but I am terrified of a woman, so I would never dare give her a reason to be angry.
Third, because I am sure that if I did, she would know. She will ask and I will never be able to lie to her, that I cannot do.

Did I mention that I love my papa?^^

Monday, April 15, 2013



Too much of you baby gets a hang on me
Too much of you lately sets my heart on glee
Yes I want to be with you, oh can't you see
Just take some time and look through me

I've been alone for  awhile, now set me free
From these chains that I've built inside of me
You see I was scared and I thought I shouldn't try
But for you I am willing now to cross that line

Oh I can't pretend anymore I don't love you
No I can't hide anymore what I'm going through
Oh my baby in your arms there's tomorrow
And now I'm willing to let go of sorrows

So come and drive me now away from these
Come let's share all our love and live in bliss
For nothing in this world right now I'd wish
But to be in your arms , to be in these arms just like this

Oh I can't pretend anymore I don't love you
No I can't hide anymore what I'm going through
Oh my baby in your arms there's tomorrow
And now I'm willing to let go of sorrows

In your arms baby
Right where you're holding me
In your arms baby
In your arms I see
In your arms baby
All I want to be
Is to be in your arms arms arms
To be in your arms
Right here with me.

**song written on 13 April 2013



I thought what I had is gem
I thought what I need is you
I thought we can pull this through
But I'm wrong and you're nothing
But a shame for loving

Cause you lied when you said you love
And you lied every time you look at me
You lied every time you kissed me
So maybe maybe maybe
I should hate you maybe maybe

You thought that I am your fool
You thought I'll just stick with you
You thought I can't go on without you
You are wrong and I'm stronger
That I can just leave you anytime

Cause you lied when you said you love
And you lied every time you look at me
You lied every time you kissed me
So maybe maybe maybe
I should hate you maybe maybe

Maybe I tried too much
Maybe I should have not
Maybe you thought you won this
But baby you're wrong
I am better than all these
And now I can go on with my life

Cause you lied and you said you love
And you lied every time you look at me
You lied when you said you love me
You lied every time you kissed me
Ohh you lied, you lied
So maybe maybe maybe
I should hate you maybe maybe

I'm so sure I'm better lately
Now that I hate you maybe maybe
I'm so sure I'm better lately
When I hate you maybe maybe

**song written on January 2013

Thursday, April 4, 2013


Having some is better than nothing at all--until it's not.
For sometimes, it is actually much wiser to just let it all go.
Sadly however, human nature meddles greatly with that.
That even if letting go is the right thing to do,
that is not what we people are made of.
We hang on.
We possess.
We linger.
For we are arrogant.
We are proud.
We hate to be defeated.
We don't want to lose.
And somehow letting go feels like losing.
Even at times we're utterly sure it is not.
Though we absolutely know that's the right thing to do.
Though we know that it's time.
Though every logic suggests so.
Though we're aware that we already have done everything we could
and have exhausted every possibility there is.
Still, we find it frustratingly hard to shake off the feeling
that maybe we could still do something more.
That there's still a fight left in us.
Until we grow desperate, frustrated and tired.
And in the end-- it's just us versus ourselves.
And as every reason would predict--
in that game we'll always lose.

We are scared to let go.
We fear stopping and putting an end to things
because we are petrified of starting all over again.
But be true to yourself,
is just having "SOME" really okay for you?
Is that just really what you deserve?
Or are you undermining yourself value by just being okay with that?

We are sometimes faced with an obstacle so big
that we think we cannot do it.
But then we are also sure that the only way through is to get over it.
And we can.
There is always a way out even in the face of the impossible.
Instead of being scared, be inspired-- for you'll sure be better.
For sometimes, all we need is to just remind ourselves
of the things we truly deserve and our rightful worth.

When you know that you could have so much more by walking away,
never be scared of taking that first step hence off
and remember that there is strength in surrender.
Bear in mind that no matter sad or terrible things seem to be today,
it will all be alright eventually.
We might think that life is so hard,we might lose the heart and falter,
but eventually we'll wake up without giving a damn about what worried us.
For aside from our possessive human nature,
our greater human instinct is survival and change.
People forget.
People move on.
That's what we people do-- WE SURVIVE.^^


*SANG-FROID (n.) the ability of a person to remain calm even in a dangerous or difficult situation, his composure under strain

I sometimes forget that and today
I am reminding myself of my worth.

Somehow, we are all great enough creatures.
Great enough to  deserve both pride and compassion--
no matter what.
We may not be all that grand enough to become A SOMEBODY.
Nor exalted enough to be A SOMEONE.
Yet we are all worthy enough to have a fair share  of human happiness.
Good enough to be alright with who we are.

I can certainly never do as much with my life as I want to,
there is no denying that.
I may even sometimes fail miserably to live up to what I've done or not do,
I am absolutely aware of that.
But I am still terribly glad that I exist,
I am still here,
still fighting the battle,
still playing the game,
still struggling to survive,
still wanting to be me.
And when I have not enough to think about it--
I am still terribly proud to be the person that I am.

I am a person. 
I struggle to remake myself and challenge the present me.
I celebrate and I ache.
I make mistakes and I strain to forgive.
I am proud, then I face defeat.
I think I knew it all and then I learn.
I am the man that I am--
and there's plenty that I'll give just to change
some things that I have done,
but here I am and this is just what there is.
I am without doubt that life isn't always suppose to be happy.
And that fact makes me stronger.
For obstacles made me fight all the more harder.
Nothing is guaranteed in this life--
but there is always a chance, if you will just not give up.
To always better yourself.
To always uphold your dignity and honor.
To uphold a purpose greater than yourself.
That's what I believe makes a person great enough.

I know that the important things in life are also the really difficult ones.
That deep lessons are learned in proximity to sorrow, loss and failure.
That hardships are not only inevitable--
they are indispensable part of a lifelong education.
So as we all do, I also keep on reinventing myself.
This world can change in an instant and one snap and then POOF!
Suddenly there is no looking back.
And so all I can do is to stand still at this very moment,
and do what is called for me to do.
I take pride in the dignity of the person that I am.
I am not patronizing myself, I am not any kind of hero.
I do not fancy myself still as a particularly good person.
I am not even a SOMEBODY.
But I strive not to be a NOBODY.
I am but a person.
And I may not really know for sure what life truly is--
but I am certainly aware that it is imperative to LIVE IT--

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


**VERITATEM (n.) Latin for THE TRUTH 

I believe in TRUTH-- and its pursuit.
We always demand for the truth,
and yet we are so coward to accept and recognize it at times.
We often have a vested interest in ignoring it
or worse, outright denying it.
We are scared of it.
So we just beget what's easier to live by.
We create a false solitude in our head,
and wish that everything will just work out in time.

But just mere thinking about something doesn't make it true--
that we must understand.
Truth is not relative.
Truth is not subjective.
Truth is paramount.
Truth is ultimate.
Truth is elusive and many times hidden.
We sometimes wish to disregard it,
but we cannot, no matter how hard we try,
run away from it.

For we owe it to ourselves to try to figure out things.
We are indebted to find out what really happened.
We are obligated to know how things really are.
Coz we owe it to ourselves to have REAL answers.
Truth is inevitable for growth.
It is necessary for us to unravel to something more--
something better.
Truth is required to change and let go.
Because in order to move forward,
we must understand why we must
no longer be in that place anymore.
We must know.

That's why a lot of people go through hell
just to discover and verify what's true--
that's human nature, the urge to seek.
We inquire until our answers are answered.
We pursue until we are satisfied.
Because the truth heals,
it guarantees that we have binding reasons
to carry on with our lives.^^